August 22 - weigh in

Last night I arrived early for my weigh-in.  Susan was not there, and I already knew that I would not be able to stay for the lecture anyhow as I had an impromptu babysitting of my grandson, and well I know my priorities!!  (BIG SMILE!!)  So, I got in line, to wait for my turn on the scale.  I knew I would be down, but okay, I will admit - I was a little disappointed.  The scale went back and forth and finally settled - down .2 of a pound.  In some ways that sounds like splitting straws doesn't it!!  HOWEVER ... in this weight loss journey - I will celebrate every pound and POINT WHATEVER of a pound that I have!!  So, I am thankful.  This makes 2.20 lbs.

As I drove away to go get my little sweetheart Ev, I was recalling the week and realized there were still times when I ate food choices that could have been a little better.  I am still craving salty!!  The other thing is fruit and veggies are unlimited and free (for the most part) on the new WW plan - and I am loving that - BUT really have to step up on the veggies!!

SO... this week - I am ready - bring it on!  Perhaps I can have a 2 lb loss next week - O LORD, you are my strength!! I commit this week to you.

August 15 - weigh in

Monday "Weigh In" day ~ and I arrived with excitement.  I knew that I had a good week - and that I just succumbed to some bad choices while I was at the lake.  It is stupid, but somehow when I get to the lake - I feel hungry!  AND sometimes I just find myself eating things that are salty and great tasting but not the best choices.  (who knew that Baby Back Rib flavored potato chips would taste so good!)  And, I also found myself sampling (again and again) the Brownie that I asked my daughter to make "for supper".  Was I really just setting myself up for bad choices?  I am thinking yes.

Anyhow there I was - signed in and in line for the weigh-in.  I am not sure why I need someone else to weigh me, but I do.  I like the accountability perhaps.  I also know that I am really liking the way Susan speaks during the class.  She is just so positive and so encouraging and so "not letting you off the hook" in her approach and yet you never feel like a failure!

On Monday night - there was once again a full room of people - all there for the same reason.  We were listening to her every word, and taking it in.  We laughed.  We agreed.  A couple things she said that inspired me were:

• on our discussion about using the 49 extra points per week.  "TREAT YOURSELF ~ use the 49 POINTS, but PLAN what you will eat!"
• make sure you have protein in your meals.  "IF THERE IS NO PROTEIN ~ LEAVE IT BEHIND!"  
• "BEHAVIOUR CHANGE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF WEIGHT CONTROL" in talking about what we eat but the changes we make for life being the important ones!!
• "OUR JOURNEY HAS TO BE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT" on talking about weight loss journey and our lives!
• and the one that really resonated with me "SOME OF OUR JOURNEY IS MADE UP OF OUR OWN SELF DEFEAT!"

UGH.... how does she know!  How does she know that I struggle with self - defeat.  How does she know that I go great-guns for a while and then slowly peter out and then have to re-boot and then a week or two later lose the steam again ... and end up sabotaging myself one way or another!  HOW DOES SHE KNOW??

Well - she knows because she has been there.  She has lost weight.  She has fought the hard journey of weight loss and still journey's and always will.  She knows and has lived through it to talk to us about it and encourage us!  Phew .... what credibility!

Anyhow - my goals were in 15 increments of 5 and I am down 2 lbs toward the first 5!!  This week is going to be a good one!  The pedometer is on (sometimes I have forgotten to wear it so missed out on some good steps!) I will make good choices.  I am looking to the Lord for my strength and for my hope because I know He IS my strength and I can do all things through Him.  He has said it - I just have to grab on, lay my own stuff down, and give it all to Him, and do my part in being committed to a healthier way of living!

that is all for now ... 

August 10 ~ day 2

Okay, it is day 2 and today I fought some cravings.  Nothing in particular - just was hungry.  So since I was not going to be home yet, I made a good choice in picking out a high fibre granola bar - oats with peanut butter, and had a fruit smoothie which tied me over nicely!

My grandson and I went for a long walk today - he rode in the stroller and I pushed.  I stuck my pedometer on first thing this morning.  I realize that it will also add up any steps around the house and I am fine with that.  I am relatively sedentary and so we (Alvin and I) are going to do a reward program!  This was all MY idea.  When I hear that I should have 10,000 steps a day - it makes me quiver.  You have to know that I am not walking any where NEAR that on a regular basis ... SO I have to literally "STEP UP" to the task!

SO for week 1 - I will make the goal to be a total of 4000 per day = 4000 x 5 days (if I walk every day - that is a bonus right?)  TOTAL for a week - 20,000

The first "REWARD" will be at 100,000 steps.
Hmmm.... what should the reward be?  Any ideas?
I am thinking that the Riverstone Spa may have some great ideas!

100,000steps .... here I come.  I know it doesn't sound like much to those of you who are walkers, but hey - it is a start for me!

(I am checking in - and just took my pedometer reading for today and it is:  12,890 
WOO HOO  total yesterday and today, 10,566 + 12890 = (drumroll please!) 23,456!!

Recap from today - August 9

I began today full of optimism and hope.  It is always this way when I rejoin WW and get going again.  And, that is good!  I had wanted to preplan the day - and what I would be eating, but the thing was, I was going to be eating out for two of the meals.  SO I would just have to make the best choice out of the eating out opportunity.

I began the day, committing it, and my weight struggle/journey to the Lord.  That for me, is the best thing ever!  To give my day to the One who gives me the strength to take each minute - each hour - each day.  One day at a time!

I have decided a few things - basically I want to get back on the band wagon in a couple areas: drinking my water, following the WW plan to the best of my ability, and exercising.

I have just finished my smoothie (made Alvin and I both one when we got home).  SOOOOO yummy:
1 frozen banana, about a cup of frozen strawberries, 5 slices of canned peaches, 1/4 cup plain yogurt, some stevia to sweeten and some water!  SO good and all except the yogurt - the fruit is free!!  (Love the new ww plan!)

Now I am going to head to bed.  I am pumped that my day got off to a good start!  YOOOHOOOOO!


EXERCISED:
Curves - 30 minutes

Pedometer (which I only put on at 3 pm HOWEVER - I logged 10,566 steps by walking with my daughter Ashley, and then tonight walking a long way with my friend Betty!!

How do I feel today:  happy!!

Thank you Lord for your strength today!  Thank you.
I am now off to sleep!!

picking myself up, dusting myself off ... again

questions that constantly boing around in my mind are:

• how many times can I get up when I fall...
• how many times can I dust myself off
• will I ever do it
• and when

the answers to the above are:

• Lord willing I will get up EVERY time I fall
• I will continue to dust myself off and walk straight
• Only God knows if I will ever do it but I believe that with HIS help, I WILL
• as to when ~ oh Lord, may it be this time!!

Tonight I walked into Weight Watcher's at a different site, with a different lecturer. Normally I go to the site at the hotel on Tuesdays, but I needed to regroup and begin again tonight.  I just needed to.  NO IT COULD NOT WAIT A DAY!

You see, I joined again a number of weeks ago, but then I got sick and didn't go, so I was UP ... and then I went and I was DOWN and then I have missed the last few (3) weeks and I am UP (can you see a continual pattern in this!)

While I waited for my turn at the scale. I was wondering "what am I going to say"...

I got up there, and she greeted me and asked me how I was.

"Much better now that I am back" was my reply.

"You are back and that is what counts" was her response.  

I went and sat down in the basement of the church, and looked around.  FOR SURE there were 50 people.  50 people like me ... struggling with 1 - 2- 10 - 30 - 50 - 75 + lbs, and all on the same journey - and there for the same reasons even though we represented young - old - older .... youth - women and men.  

The lecturer got up and I could not believe it when I walked out of there and realize that she talked for at least 45 minutes.  I have never heard SUSAN before, but I certainly know WHY she is a lecturer for weight watchers.  Some of what she said struck many chords within me.  And it was obvious she struck others as well.  The thing I noticed is that she was so positive.  "So you goofed up - just get back to making good choices. "

Here are some things that stuck a chord with me:

"no food is evil ~ but there are just better choices"

"plan to be successful and organize yourself"

"when you make good choices - you have to realize/look at how much better you feel!"

"forget about LOSING WEIGHT and just commit to GETTING HEALTHY"

"we have to be able to manage and maintain to the best of our ability"

"the journey should be filled with happiness"

I walked out of there feeling like "yes"  "I can do it"

I want to quit looking back.

I know you have heard me saying these same things before ...

that I want to give it all to God

that I want to shed the weight with HIS help

that I want to "die to self"

that I am tired of the battle

yes, yes, yes and YES

you have heard me speak it

Lord Willing, finally you will see me do it, with God's help.

I realize I am posting this very early on Tuesday morning, but I just can't sleep yet, so with this I will shut down the computer and get to bed.  With God's help "I can scale a mountain" it says in the Bible.

This IS a pretty big mountain - about 75 lbs worth of mountain.

Let's see.... if I lose 5 LBS a month - that will take me to October of 2012.  Totally doable. However I realize that I need to take it one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time.  IF ONLY I COULD JUST LOSE 10 LBS ... it will feel like I have begun!  It is up to me - to keep giving it to God and to keep doing what I can to the best of my ability.  O Lord, please be my strength.  I think that often God must wonder why I cry over the same pounds (and have been crying over them for years).  I think he often must wonder why I keep running to food instead of him.

I really want to crack this code!!  And again I ask, O Lord, please be my strength.

NOW with that - I am going to sleep ... will write down some of my daily decisions later when I get up.