It's Not About the Weight but It's Not Not About the Weight

I am reading a book called Women, Food and God. It is written by Gineen Roth who uses the word God loosely. She says that "I don't believe in the God that most people call God, but I do know that the only definition of God that makes any sense is one that uses this human life and its suffering - as a parth to the heart of love itself. While I realize that some people find the word God explosive and potentially divisive, and that other have a ddeply satisfying relationship with God. I use the word in this book because it evokes a vast expanse that we cannot penetrate with our minds, although we can know it through silence or poetry or simply senseing what is always here." (Women, Food and God, page 25)

For me personally, I connect with her line about others having a deeply satisfying relationship with GOD - my Father, Creator, ALmithgty, Sovereing, Rock, Redeemer, Comforter, Friend...
You get what I am saying? When I read this book, "God" to me means THE God of all. The great I AM!

So... I am reading this book. There is alot of good stuff in here. Alot of stuff that I go "aha - that makes sense". But what REALLY caught my attention was this excerpt in a magazine that is from her book, page 49: "We think we're miserable because of what we weigh. And to the extent that our joints hurt and our knees ache and we cant walk three blocks without losing our breath, we probably are physically miserable because of extra weight. But if we've spent the last five, twenty, fifty years obsessing about the same ten or twenty pounds, something else is going on. Something that has nothing to do with weight."

Ouch. Felt that one. Agree with it too. For 30 years I have struggled with the same weight - sure it went up alot with pregnancy with Josh, but then down some and then back up with my pregnancy with Ash and then up and up and up and up... did I say UP?

So this paragraph speaks into my life. So - if it has nothing to do with weight - then what does it have to do with?

I will be honest - in this 30 year old struggle I have listened and told myself a lot of lies! Oh man, the Enemy (Satan) loves these lies we tell ourselves because they are so crippling. After all Satan is called the father of lies in John 8:44. I realize more and more, and again especially through the bible study with Jennifer Rothschild ME, MYSELF AND LIES that the lies we believe when we are held in a stronghold - they are unlimited! Like chains around my neck.

It is also interesting, because just over the last few days I also was reading my devotions, and Beth Moore's book, and the day was about "The Tackiness of Deception" and well, you got it - Satan's lies!

For me - I will be totally honest... my statements to myself sound like this...(they aren't pretty)

• Joy you are such a loser! Can't even get rid of weight
• You must not be giving it to God because you can never get this weight off
• Man you are a failure
• it's hopeless, look how long you have tried
• I will never claim victory over this - it has consumed most of my life

Oh man, just looking at what I have written hurts me... but they are the honest truth - those are some of the lies I hear and Satan loves to underscore them!

Thing is - I have TRUTH in my Lord... And the TRUTH has to be spoken over and over again. And it is part of this journey. Truth that says

• I am so loved by the Lord ~ His BELOVED!! (Colossians 3:12)
• I am precious - His Treasure (I Peter 2: 9-10)
• I am capable (Philippians 4:13)
• I am a NEW creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• I am FORGIVEN!!!! (Ephesians 1: 7-8)
• I am gifted with power, love and a sound mind! (2 Timothy 1:7)
• I am free! (Romans 6: 18, 8:1)
• I am valuable to God! (I Corinthians 6:20)
• I am being transformed!! (2 Corinthians 3:18)

and... (insert drum roll) like my blog verse states ~ I am His delight!! (Zephaniah 3: 17)Wow.... I can do it - one day at a time, with God as my strength. I can do it WITH Him...

So with that, I will say that it's NOT about the Weight - but its NOT NOT about it! Bottom line - if I want to feel better... in all areas of my being, I have to get rid of this once and for all...

I know that I am NOT defined by the number on the scale, but I know that it bothers me... and it brings great delight when it goes down. I guess it makes sense because when it goes down, I am losing, and feeling physically better all around.

I want to go through this day as one LOVED by God! Embrace that fully for today - even if it is just that one thought! I am HIS beloved!

Thanks for listening.